“Darren Montgomery, 23, of Bozeman passed away unexpectedly on Saturday, August 28, 2010………………
……While there, he met the love of his life, Taelor Bishop. They complimented each other in every way……”---from his obituary
That is where I have been. My oldest daughter’s boyfriend, that she had been living with for the past 3 years--has died. It has only been one week and it feels like a life time. She called us Saturday morning and we left immediately and stayed till the funeral on Wednesday.
I belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I believe in Jesus Christ, although I am deeply ashamed to admit that I do not always behave as though I do. In all, brutal honesty, I have struggled to understand and accept my firstborn’s life choices and the young man that came with them. My arms and words have not always been open and welcoming-- and at this time that brings me a bitter mix of grief and guilt. Don't get me wrong, I still do not approve of their life choices and my house is still rated PG and LDS. But given a second chance-- I would find a way to keep my standards and honor the love that they shared and love the young man—not his choices.
Thankfully, I also believe that death is not the end and that he has just moved on to the next step in our journey. Darren was a very kind soul. Never once, while in my presence, (despite my sometimes less than stellar behavior) did he ever say an unkind word or do a mean thing. So I am hoping that wherever he is---that he knows my weaknesses and judgments for what they were--- and can forgive me.
I am in the process of putting together/editing a slideshow/movie of his life for his family and then I am moving on and have some HAPPY/OTHER stuff to share but I needed to write this out and give my thoughts some kind of order and shape.
I have been looking high and low and I cannot find a manual for this particular situation. If you took it—give it back…I mean it…now already!!!
If there is none---write it already people!