Saturday, February 28, 2009

Sadly, Regrettably, Distressingly, SERIOUSLY??????!!!!!!!


You may or may not remember Jasper from a previous post. (see here) He had a lot of attitude and a little brain. One time, my husband went outside with him on his shoulder and he flew off and we thought for sure he was gone and dead. Turns out he just circled the house a couple times and landed on our forest floor. Mind you, not in a tree or on top of anything (little brain) but on the ground. And there was where we found him after a stressful hunt. We finally found him when he started saying, "Jasper gonna die". Just kidding. But....we did find him alive.
Sadly, regrettably, distressingly, that is NOT how we found him on Thursday afternoon. SERIOUSLY??!! This is when the creator of the universe thought was a good time for the bird to die??!! SERIOUSLY??!! Right when our family is coming to grips with the impending death of my father???!! SERIOUSLY???!!! And of course the hubby is not home. After recovering from the "depths of despair" and calming the kiddo's, (he lives in Bean's room and she thought he was just sleeping) I did what any other competent, mentally with it Mom would do. I pried him off the bottom of the cage (yeah--that didn't completely scar me, having to pry his little talons off the bars), wrapped him in a couple of washcloths, put him in a box and popped him in the outside freezer for my husband to deal with when he gets home. I realized the error of my ways when I opened that freezer later to get some ice cream and discovered, to my horror (and yes, a small amount of crazed laughing) that I had placed him in and old Schwann's box, labeled-----are you ready for this???-----

CHICKEN CORDON BLEU
Yep, I am that good.

Needless to say, I have moved everything I think I will need between now and the time my hubby gets home, to the other freezer. I don’t trust myself. I can’t even go by that freezer at night now---the curse of way too many scary movies.

24 comments:

DeNae said...

OK, my turn to laugh out loud, Lisa! I know I should be feeling sorry for you - and I do, really! - but the thought of his second-to-final-resting place being a carton full of distant but equally deceased relatives was just too funny!

I'm sending whatever leftover good Karma I may have after giggling over this one your way. Hope things get better!

Sue said...

That's sad! I used to have a pet pigeon, and I really was very attached to him. Birds are very cool pets.

I'm sorry that happened when your husband was out of town, and frankly, I think you handled it well. At least, as well as can be expected. (grin)

Sorry, I just had to grin a little...

Only a bit, though. It IS sad.

tammy said...

I'm trying really really hard not to laugh.

Dang it.

It's not working.

But I am sorry for your family's loss. And that your hubby was out of town for it. And your unfortunate choice of boxes.

Marivic_Little GrumpyAngel said...

Okay-at first I started to feel sad, in a poor Lisa can't get a break kind of sad, then before I knew it I was cracking up and choking from trying not to. You crazy girl! The choice of box---seriously!

Boyd Family said...

Thanks for the laugh. Things are pretty tense around here as of late and that was just what I needed.

Nana said...

Oh, that is sad. I'm sorry for you all. Losing a pet can be so hard.
Please do not invite me over for dinner any time soon.

Mechelle said...

It is hard to loose a family member. Even if he had not brain.

Chicken Cordon Bleu. Dang that is clever. You are good. m

McEwens said...

OK, I am laughing about the box!!

Just want you to know, I am thinking about you... hoping the Lord is pouring out extra amounts of spirit to comfort you all

Mikki said...

Oh Lisa!! That's too funny about the box, in fact that entire last paragraph--it's like The Birds meets zombies or something. Sorry.
I am really sorry you lost your birdie this week. Hope the kids are dealing with it ok. Keeping your dad in my prayers, and you too!

Carla said...

HAHAHAHA!! You are killing me!! (pun not really intended)
Oh, Lisa, I needed a good laugh, thank you, and you have my permission to laugh too:)

DesertHen said...

Oh dear....I'm so sorry about the bird. And you really had me laughing out loud with that putting him in a Schwan's box and sticking it in the freezer.

My friend L. had a lovely rooster that she was very fond of. He died and she stuck him in the freezer until she could get him buried. I opened her freezer and about had a heartattack! There was the giant bird looking at me from the depths of the freezer...scared me silly. I then went in her house to ask why the rooster was in the freezer and her daughter not knowing what had happened to the bird totally freaked out....the bird had been dead for a month at this point and the daughter never noticed he was missing until I spilled the beans.

♥ Braja said...

Holy crap that's the funniest thing I've read all day...

Wait...it's only 5am...

:)

Carla said...

thought of you today:
http://simplysweethome.blogspot.com/2009/03/recipe-of-week-chicken-cordon-bleu.html

Cynthia said...

Ack! Sorry about the loss of your pet and, even worse, having to deal with the remains. We had a 'bird incident' around our house last week too but at least the creature didn't die in our house. I can convince myself it's still alive out there somewhere even though it probably isn't.

I'm VERY sorry about the news about your Daddy. A girl can NEVER be old enough to not need her Dad. I live in fear of the moment you are now experiencing. I'm so very, deeply sorry.

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Valerie said...

I know you don't know me, but I wanted to say that I'm sorry that you have to go through all this grieving at once. I love that photo of you and your daddy in the last post. It brouhgt tears to my eyes, but that's okay since your chicken cordon bleu box made me laugh. :)

Nana said...

Oh, you made me laugh.

Why that's how we talk around these here parts don't ya know.

feeling, filling. Oh brother, thanks for letting me know!

Nana said...

Hey, I don't see the comment I left you earlier. Hmmm I wonder what happened.

I said "that's how we talk in these here parts."

You cracked me up. Anyway thanks for helping me out actually.

I could never block you from my blog. (Maybe)

Nana said...

I just realized you must have seen my earlier comment. Whatever I am just going to go to bed. Don't worry you didn't hurt my fillings. ha ha ha

Ann's Rants said...

I came via Braja. That is unbelievable. The universe gave you a little laugh to make up for the shitstorm, I suppose.

ladyfi said...

Sorry about your loss.. and I'm terrible ashamed of laughing about it too...

adlibby said...

Braja sent me! OMG! I'm sorry for the hard times... but that made me laugh out loud! You have a dead bird in a Chicken container in your freezer? Didn't that happen on the Bachelor with a squirrel or something? Life is funny like that. Funny blog, glad to have found ya!

♥ bfs~"Mimi" ♥ said...

That is so awful! :-( Brought to mind our worst Christmas ever. We'd bought the kids a beautiful pair of love birds. Came home from church that Sunday Christmas, and our cat had climbed up the curtains, knocked against the cage, and feasted. It was a horrible day. All we found were a few feathers ~ and a cat with a Cheshire smile.

imbeingheldhostage said...

I am sorry about your bird, and you're right-- what horrible timing... but holy cow, you made me laugh out loud. I already have issues with inappropriate emotional reactions and I'm laughing through death of a loved bird-- how am I going to sleep? What were the odds of you grabbing that box?

*hugs*