Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Daddy update


This is still a little tender for me. First of all—I know that there are people EVERYWHERE dealing with the death or impending death of a loved one every minute of every day. Life cycles—everyone knows it—and time stops for no man. I know that it is no respecter of age or economic status. I know that very few people are ever prepared for it—even if there are warning signs. I wonder if it is because we get so caught up in our invincibility's, so forgetful of all that it takes for our body to take just one breath. Maybe it is because there was never anything my Daddy couldn’t do. I was 5 years old in this picture. My Daddy was a super hero. At the ripe old age of 5, I KNEW that I was special….because my Daddy told me so. In my mind’s eye—he has never aged much beyond this memory. When did he become old enough to have right heart failure, to need oxygen 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and need a walker to get around??!! When did he get old enough to have to leave me here on earth, without his physical presence to guide me, and remind me that I am still special?! I do find peace in my beliefs--that this will be a brief parting, that we will spend eternity together, it is just the ache of missing that I think will be hard. The saying good-bye.
Because of the right heart failure, his lungs are not getting enough blood and that causes a fluid buildup. His legs and abdomen are already much enlarged and as it progresses it will continue to build up till it shuts down all his organs and causes death. There is no treatment but they think he will be able to slow it a little with diet and proper rest and lots of visits from grandchildren. :0)
Today was better than yesterday, emotionally, and I am sure tomorrow will be even a little better than today. I am the older of just 2 children and so there is much to do; finances, wills, final plans, scrapbooks etc…it will be good to keep busy and to “need” to spend all this time with him. I am not asking for prayers or thoughts for miracles—just for strength and courage for all of us. It is so healing to go around and read all your blogs and get caught up in the witty banter and do lots of gut laughing. Isn’t blog land great??!!

28 comments:

DeNae said...

Lisa, I have been wondering about your dad, so I appreciate this update. What a blessing to have time - even if it's just a few weeks or months. Let's call that a tender mercy. There isn't anything I can do but send up a prayer for you (did it!) and try to help you keep your spirit light. I'll laugh with you; hopefully that will make a difference!

Sending good thoughts your way!

::Jan:: said...

Oh Lisa, we all love you. I am just sitting here with goosebumps and emotions swirling for you. I am so glad that you can write these thoughts out and put them down. I know that the Plan is here for us to have comfort and to cling too. Aren't we so grateful for that knowledge. I know that it is a very stressful and anxious time for all. We can and will pray for your family Lisa.

Take care and hugs and strength I hope you feel and find. xxoo

Marivic_Little GrumpyAngel said...

Just letting you know my thoughts and my prayers are with you, Lisa Loo. My Dad passed away over 10 years ago, and this post brings back a lot of the emotions.

Blog Buddy said...

Lisa-I'm so sorry about your dad. What a beautiful picture! You were very lucky to have a daddy that was your super hero:)

Sorry I haven't been blogging much here. I'm on Facebook more than my blog now. I'll try and catch up!

Boyd Family said...

I am so sorry to hear about your dad. I wish I could be there to comfort you in your trial. I think of you often.

tammy said...

I know it's not easy to watch your parents get older and deal with illness. Hugs and prayers for strength are yours.

I love blogland too. I feel we were meant to be connected to these wonderful women. For laughs, for strength, for advice, and for everything else.

McEwens said...

I wish you all the strength and courage as you face one of the most challenging times of mortality.

Carla said...

You have my prayers, and you and your family are in my thoughts. Nothing witty, just love. May you feel God's love. God bless you Lisa:)

Mikki said...

aw Lisa. Thanks for the update. This is such a sweet, beautiful post. A touching tribute to your dad. My thoughts and prayers are with you-that you will have the strength you need to make it through the difficult times ahead. That you'll have the spirit close by to comfort you and bring you peace. It is so hard to lose a loved one, even though we know where they're going, and that we'll see them again. The missing them in the meantime is still there and tough to deal with. I suppose that's the greatest tribute to a life well lived--loved ones who miss you when you're gone. Hang in there, know I'm thinking of you. ♥♥♥

linda said...

It sounds as though you have been blessed with such a caring, wonderful Dad. A Dad should be every girl's hero!

Thank you for telling us what kind of prayers you need at this time...prayers for strength and courage are now being said!

Sue said...

Beginning to sort of say good-bye to your dad is definitely going to be tough, but it's also going to be beautiful. The real blessing is that you have a father you are so close to, and I can't help but believe that he will always be close to you in spirit, whether he can be here physically or not.

In the meantime, enjoy every minute and give yourself permission to let other things go a little bit while you just spend that quality time with your dad.

Hugs to you!

=)
Sue

Tink said...

Oh man Lisa! What a beautiful picture you captured on your blog of father and daughter! I see the love and the joy and the pride. I dread the day when my parents will get sick and die. I know it's a natural course, but I will dread it. I love my parents dearly and they are approaching the ages of when their parents passed away. You are in my thoughts and prayers. And YES blogs are great to help us through the hard times, to make us laugh, to buoy our spirits! I heart you!

SuperCoolMom said...

You are so blessed to have such a wonderful Daddy!

nikkicrumpet said...

I'm so sorry about your superhero dad. You're right...no matter how hard we try we can never be prepared for this. My heart goes out to you and your family. I hope his final days here on earth are spent with the people he loves so much. And thankfully we KNOW we will be together again.....so it's not a "goodbye" but a "see ya later" I will keep you in my prayers.

And no you big doofus I didn't stop following you. There is some freaky thing going on with blogger and everyone is losing followers. I have a pretty strong grip but I guess they got me from yours....I'll fix that right this instant!

onlymehere said...

Thanks for the update. You're right even though we know it's coming the end is still so hard sometimes. My father went into a diabetic coma after refusing to continue dialysis. They told us it would still be a week or so but he was gone the next day. I feel bad that my children's last glimpse of their grandfather was in a coma, we thought he was just sleeping when we went up that day. You just never know. I know you didn't ask for prayers but I'll still keep you in my prayers and ask for peace to calm your heart at this time. It's even harder to say goodbye when they are our heroes. I'll try to make you laugh when I can get enough time together to post! Oh, and you can live by me anyday!

imbeingheldhostage said...

Oh Lisa, bless you. I will pray for you and your family-- this is such a hard time.

Da Bergs said...

Oh, Lisa, I am right there with you... my dad fell night before last during the night... to see them getting so frail... it is SO hard... I am thinking of you and your dad, you are in my prayres, it is going to take courage to get thru this but we will! Keep me posted...

Also, that is a GREAT pic of you and your daddy!!!

Sweetie said...

I do pray that you have the strength to get through this horrific ordeal. It's heart breaking to see someone that was always our "rock" become weak. It is difficult when we become our parent's parent.
Sweetie

Nana said...

My heart breaks for you! What a terrible waiting game we sometimes find ourselves in.

He sounds like a great man and he is still giving it his all for his family. Isn't it wonderful to have the gospel of Jesus Christ in our lives, to know he will be at peace soon and to know he will still be there for you, and it is just a temporary seperation.

I always have to remind myself that we that are left behind are the sad ones. Those that have gone beyond are happy.

My SIL knows her husband will be going soon. Gosh we were told the first part of November that he had Liver Cancer. Honestly I thought things would go faster than they are. I think she did too.

He is really starting to show signs now and it is just a terrible waiting game. She cries all the time. I can't blame her.

Yep it happens to all of us. Keep praying for help. You will recieve it, that I know.

My thoughts and prayers are with your family.

Shauna said...

I am for sure praying for you my sweet friend!

Mechelle said...

I am so sorry. But I am also so glad that you have had him in your life. He sounds so wonderful. m

Braja said...

You may have read my post yesterday about my spiritual master, who was like my father...when he died it was treachorous...but every day he is with me. Thoughts are with you Lisa...

Quirkyloon said...

Ms. Loo? I left something for loo, I mean you at my blog!

BTW, I am so sorry to hear about your dad. I'm glad to see that you are trying to have a good attitude about it all.

I know it must be so hard. :)

You and your fam will be in my prayers.

imbeingheldhostage said...

just checking in...

Mechelle said...

BTW, I go through Montana every summer! I hope you win the give away on my photo blog. Then I would get to meet you. M

funky bag freak said...

What a sweet picture. My prayers are with you and your family.

♥ bfs~"Mimi" ♥ said...

I will pray for you and your family to feel courage and a deep faith that love will bring you all together again.

Pedaling said...

i don't think this is something that is ever easy - even with the knowledge of truth, although, of course that helps, and even with age...it's just plain hard on our heart.
beautiful thoughts, though such a difficult time and what a tender picture.