If all else fails, read the thesaurus…….

 

This is not a picture of my kitchen.

There are several clues leading you to this fact:

My kitchen has no counter tops

My kitchen is much smaller than this

My kitchen walls are orange

My hair has its own zip code and we are usually dressed like this and in this EXACT pose while I’m in the kitchen…

My kitchen has no counter tops

Oh, I’m sorry—did I mention that?

I am so easily confused, and distracted…especially by yellow appliances and big hair…………….

 

Meanwhile, although this is not my kitchen, that is the dishwasher I have had since my eldest was born. 22 1/2 years, 5 kids & 8 moves. It is the saddest looking appliance I have ever seen but it fits in nicely with my garage decor and has just kept chugging its little dishwasher heart out for all these years. I had been lulled into thinking that perhaps dishwashers just lived forever.

 

I am here today to tell you that this is not true.

Not. at. all.

 

 

 

Let’s re-cap shall we?

In the month of August, 2 people that we knew died. Darren—1987-2010—Gone Too Soon..

 

And my sister-in-law’s father who called seafood chowder “dead fish soup” and was my hero….I don’t have a picture

 

 

(Hence the thesaurus reference. I don’t like the word died. Seems harsh. But not after reading the alternatives. I would list some here but it seems completely disrespectful. GO look it up.)

 

Just as we are recovering from that, (READ: YESTERDAY) we had to have our faithful and sweet 14 year old dog euthanized. I know she was really ready to go—she will just be missed.

Hershey 1997-2010 Carry on faithful one!

 

Anyhoo--- (that’s for you DeNae) there I am, back at the garage with my magnificent hair and flowy yellow moo moo caftan thingie, loading my portable dishwasher and I go to shut the door and start ‘er up and………..

 

 

……………..it.won’t.shut. It won’t run if it won’t shut. The door is now held shut with duct tape. Sad, sad day.

I was wondering what that springie thingie and cute little metal rod thingie was that I found the last time I moved it over to the sink. My hair is thinking maybe, just maybe, they were something relatively important to the life span of our dearly departed dishwasher.

SERIOUSLY??!! My dog and the dishwasher IN THE SAME DAY??!!!

This is NOT me but it IS what I am doing. Minus the gloves, apron, smile and waistline.

I am supposed to close on my house tomorrow, I feel like blogging it out loud might be bad luck but I am excited! Today its because the house comes with a dishwasher---are you ready for this---BUILT IN~!!!! What will they think of next??!! Little rooms with bars across the top to hang your clothes---it just takes my breath away…………

Even Noah had his critter limits……

First of all—for those of you who loathe silly, sentimental critter posts—flee NOW! Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Second of all, we have a new member of our household, or ark, whichever you prefer. In order to understand the ark reference you would probably need to have read or read this post about my secret life. Go ahead, click on it…I’ll wait. {whistling}

So now that we are cruising on my ark together, I would like to introduce you to Obi (as in Obi Wan Holy Kanoli that's a big dog!!)

He is a Bull Mastiff and he is HUGE, COLOSSAL, ENORMOUS, GIANT and the sweetest tempered dog I have ever had the occasion to meet. So polite and calm.

Having said that—I did NOT need another critter. As a matter of fact, I had just been reasonably successful at establishing the fact that we were done acquiring critters of ANY kind. Yeah, my family laughed at my delusions too. {deep sigh}}}}

Obi (I am not really sure how it is spelled or if that is his whole name) came to us by way of my husband’s nephew, who lives in Nevada. Just a hop, skip and a jump, really. They had a really good reason for needing to find him a new home, I was just a little confused as to why we were the best option. Then I remembered that one of my husband’s biggest priorities in life is family and that its one of the biggest reasons I love him. In his mind there is always room for 1 more, be it human or critter---so----a new dog it was. And let me tell you, Mr. Obi vonLARGE was not nearly as big in that picture they sent me on my cell phone. Talk about things being larger than they appear…….

He has settled in nicely and I’ll admit that I am smitten. He and my son have become inseparable. Best friends and comrades in arms. We have had dogs ever since he was born but he never connected with them like he does with Obi.

My nephew wanted an update and some pics so here is my “Ode to Obi”. Not that I have the first clue about “oding”…….

So far Obi and Milan’s favorite game is “Hide and Run Like Heck to the Tramp Before Obi Knocks You Down”.

Those ears are killing me. (the dog’s, not my son’s) I have taken a million gratuitous Obi ear shots. I just can’t help myself …and the eyebrows—do you see that??!! He can so nail the one eyebrow!!

But then there is the tongue and slobber issue---I’m still trying to find my chi on that issue…..eeewwwwww..

But then there is this….

And just in case you still can’t understand my new infatuation….I will leave you with this-----amen.

Sunday Summation

Apparently I should never attempt to be witty. I am sorry to all I may have offended yesterday with my oxymoron's. I should have stuck to clearly misunderstood and sweet sorrow. Just to be clear--I have a high regard for all those who serve and protect our country.

I may or may not have had this conversation when I was 14.

SETTING: Our church young women's group was having a special night called New Beginnings which involved all the young women, ages 12 to 18, gathering in the chapel for a program that had some speakers and musical numbers.

I may or may not have had trouble being reverent.

Me: (leaning over and whispering to the stranger sitting next to me) Look at that lady speaking, something is the matter with her eye. It's roving! Look--I'm over here--nope--I'm over here (leaning back and forth for emphasis) whoa--it's like it has a mind of its own. It's like, I've got my eye on you...and you...and you.......(snickering at my obviously funny observations)

Stranger: Yeah.....that's my Mom. She was in a car accident and now she has a glass eye...............................................................................................................................................





Talk about just shoot me now and put me out of your misery! TO this day I wish that were not a true story. Thankfully, she had a sense of humor and forgave me--after she let me sweat it out for the rest of the meeting.


But this is what I mean--it always seems so funny in my head. Something happens on the way to my mouth. *sigh*

In OTHER news:

Thanx for the bloggy love! To those who left me more than one comment and AND all those who answered my red neck, blue collar, white trash AND how you manage this blog thing--an extra one for you too! You can still earn extra entries --I am most interested about our color coded society---would love to know what you think!

I think its only 6 more to go---

ADD ON---I meant red neck, white trash, blue collar--color coded society. I just want to know what people define those as.