Thursday, March 18, 2010

Proof of Life

I have been going through a mental blog crisis, of sorts.

Every time I go to type my thoughts become constipated on the way to my fingers.

Actual thoughts now running through my head:

Punctuation. Colon, semi-colon. Hyphen? Remember when that author mocked all those who used dashes. Must not use dashes. Is it a dash or a hyphen? Should I google it so I don't look completely stupid? Snort, should have never started blogging if that was important. Blank space.......oh yeah. Where did my thoughts get constipated? [Surveying arms and fingers.] I wish I didn't have piano players fingernails. And that gimpy middle finger. Focus, Constipation. Gotta be the elbows or the wrists. Wait, there is my neck. [Moving head in all directions.] Wow, I really like this condo we are staying in. Love the wall paint. STOP! Focus! Neck. No, more likely the elbows or wrists. Kinda like the drain pipes in a toilet. Man, I'm not ready to go back home to our 1 bathroom garage yet. Ooo, Nat's coming home this weekend though--that will be fun. Oh, can't forget Studmuffin's Dr's appt. Studmuffin. Oo, I think that is what I will nickname my husband on this site. I wonder if they will really go snowboarding on Saturday. Where is everyone? Oh that's right, they're down at the pool. Soaking after a day of snowboarding. Blank space...focus, focus, focus. Oh yeah, constipation. Thoughts. I can never type anything witty or smart I really shouldn't be blooging. Whoops, blogging. Blooging, what a funny word. It could be like blew and boogers. AAHH! Focus! Shouldn't be blogging. Remember that blog that mocked people for saying they blogged for journaling purposes, or to keep family up to date and whatever--that everybody who blogged was just basically a narcissist --holy moly--spellchecker says I spelled that right, on the first try! I wish I could spell check my mouth, in public. Heck, I wish I could edit myself in public. I really want to use dashes. I can't focus on anything else because I am trying not to use dashes. Dashes or hyphens? Hyphenated dashes? Who knew that was a word? Blank thought have reached an impasse. I wonder if that is because my elbows are bent? Ack!

Are you still with me?

It's a mess, isn't it.

It's like diarrhea of the brain that gets constipated on the way to my fingers.

I have decided though, that I am going to be a blogger.

It doesn't matter what my reasons are, because there is always someone out there that will mock---I will just have to wear my "mocking-boots"--{snort} Sorry.

I just want to stop allowing my self to fail before I even try.

I think I am channeling Yoda.

Sooo...back at the ranch.

Actually, the condo. We have been vacationing on the lake in Coeur de Lane, ID this week. (just a time share—we are so not rich) Phil and the kids have been snowboarding and playing at a water park and in the pool here.

Flying down a mountain on a piece of wood at 50 miles an hour does not speak peace to my soul. It speaks screaming and pain, actually.

Nor does being mistaken for Shamu at the water park and chased with a harpoon.

Soo... I do...important know.. important things. I have been doing....important things... like, reading and playing on the computer. Sometimes I even let myself just close my eyes and enjoy the silence.

And because I feel naked without pictures, here is a few of the lake from our deck. The one of my Studmuffin fencing with the Wii is just a bonus for making it all the way to the end.

PS--what makes the wii pics even better is if you imagine him making ninja/oriental sounds while playing. We call him "The Ninja Fencer"







Oh dear, where did those other 2 fencing pics come from? I distinctly remember promising Studmuffin there would be only one. {hanging head in shame}


Garden of Egan said...

Hilarious pix of the stud! I hope you are having a blast. Sounds like you are.
I've missed ya. Ya, constipated blogstipation....horrific disease for which there is a cure.
Just sit down and type.
Even if it doesn't make sense to usually does to most of us!

LKP said...

the last one of your husband is by far my favorite "hi-yah!" it's as if i were there! =)
don't worry about any of those critics. no matter your motives, you are here & we LOVE YOU!!!! so, let fly with the dashes and anything you feel....constipated or other, keep it comin'. we have missed you!

LKP said...

your running train on thought typed out for us is AWESOME! that's how i think all. the. time.
no joke.
glad i'm not alone. =)

DeNae said...

LOVE Northern Idaho. And I'm glad to see you back in the game!!

For what it's worth, I recently read a 'how to write' article, written by an editor, and HE said people don't use dashes often enough!!

So there you are! Vindicated!

Mikki said...

LOL!!! Ok, Bloogers and Mocking Boots----------I love it!!!!!
I love hyphens too, and the little ....... thingy that I doo too much of.
So glad to read something from you. Hope you're having a blast. Gorgeous pics, even the last two of your studmuffin.
It's your blog and you can hyphenate if you want to!

Cheeseboy said...

One time I was so befuddled by if I should use a semicolon or not, I blogged about how I am an idiot for not knowing how or when to use a semicolon. Sounds like you may be in the same boat. The good news is 99% of my readers don't even notice if I use a dash or a semicolon.

Your blog is quite funny btw.

Cherie said...

Hilarious pictures of your husband!
And Look: No one cares if you get a bit blog constipated we love it when you let loose with all your crazy thoughts! ha ha
Glad you are having fun :D

Cherie said...

I have absolutely enjoyed every comment you left on my blog today. They made me laugh and smile - You are so funny!!

tammy said...

Well look who's back. Glad to see you're still around.

And Coeur de Lane is gorgeous!

Blog Buddy said...

I'm back on board reading your SUPER fun words of wisdom and advice!! Go Chick GO!!!!!!

imbeingheldhostage said...

I don't know what terrible critic's blog you've been reading but stop now! I MISSED your posts and have never once stopped to edit as I read. Of course, this is coming from a dash/hyphen-er who sometimes spells the English way and sometimes the American way... I also love to dot dot dot and can create some amazing run-on sentences :) I'm a happy blogger now that you've decided to give in to the good times.

Love the Wii photos!

kado! said...

Who does not like ----? I like me a little of those and I LOVE me some "..........." ha! ...and I really don't care who it bothers, so there! It is how I talk when typing!

So glad to hear from ya and LOVE the pretty pics!

Valerie said...

Gorgeous lake pics!!