Saturday, August 1, 2009

Everything will be alright

To quote my #3 daughter, "Love is such a funny thing. One minute you are absolutely sure of everything, but then the next nothing seems to fit quite right or the way you would like it to."

Wise beyond her years.


Natalie and Ben have called off their engagement.


It is hard and painful but they are both working through it the best that they know how.

The details are theirs to share---or not--I am just trying to love and support them both.

I feel like someone shoved me in a roller coaster car without one of those bars that hold you in. Yeah, theres a visual for you.




Like I said on Facebook--today I wish I was back to that place in time that my biggest issues were naptime and thumb versus binkie. I am pretty sure that back then I had no idea my heart could ache this badly and still be in one piece.


Everything will be alright--just keep swimming---this is but a moment---the heavens are darkest when you can see the stars--tomorrow will be better---yeah, I'm working on it.........






Us in 1989--thats Nat I'm holding--trying to make her smile--(why didn't anyone tell me how ridiculous I looked when I made that face??! And how about that spiffy outfit my hubby has on??) Sorry--I got a little sidetracked---wish it was that easy to make her smile now..{sigh}...

20 comments:

Da Bergs said...

OH... I am so sorry, BUT, I am SO glad they figured it out NOW and not later!!!

tammy said...

Everything will be alright, you're right. And like Shaila said, if it's not quite right, then better they figure that out now. She will find the right one, if she decides for sure he's not it.

DeNae said...

My nephew and fiancee had actually mailed the invitations when they called things off. It was so hard for everyone, including both sets of parents who, in their own way, had given their hearts to those kids.

All I can say is it turned out to be the best decision either of them could have made. She had some serious health issues that would have sorely tested their marriage, and after nearly three years he is in love and thinking about trying again.

I'm sending you all a virtual hug right now.

Cherie said...

I have to echo Shaila - Such a hard thing to do but better now than later.
You need to be sure or at least as sure as you can be when you get married.
It is great that they both have the love and support of the family!

LKP said...

you are an awesome mom! this'll sound like a broken record where i send ya with this, but having been through a broken engagement myself years ago (not only were we to be married in the temple, but we were planning to have my daughter sealed to us that day as well), the hardest thing for me was clinging to my faith in the Lord & in myself. a broken engagement totally shakes you to your core and leaves you second guessing yourself & your judgment. not a fun path to walk. but being on this side of it, the change of plans was the greatest blessing in my life. i learned so much about who i really was and how much my heavenly father loves me...and i learned 3 short years later (though at first it seemed like forever) that my Father had been preparing some one so much more perfectly matched & my eternal equal. i'm sure Natalie's gonna hear & be told plenty of things (given WAY TOO MUCH unsolicited advice) which will sound kind, but insensitivity will also come up---if she doesn't mind what i can share though, please tell her my heart aches to know what she's feeling, but i know with a surety that the atonement even heals the broken heart & hopes that are the casualties in this situation. Christ's atonement is not JUST about sin, its about healing & perfecting. if she continues to have faith in Him, she will see the Lord's faith in her. through her enduring this pain, she will soon discover His perfect answer for her.
music gets my mind thinking, and gets me through everything. if it can help your family too, then check out this link, it's a most inspiring program filled with great songs, perfect for reminding us to hold to our faith.
http://broadcast.lds.org/ldsradio/MusicWithAMessage/LDSRadio_MusicWithAMessage__04__Faith__eng_.mp3

know that you gals are in my thoughts.
-p.s. i LOVE your face in that pic. being a mom is THE best!

Jan said...

Going through the same thing, but they are still on track with it at some point. I know it is so hard to go through, but like Shaila said, better now than later.

Hugs Lisa. I know :)

Pedaling said...

i tell my daughter who is engaged, to never feel, that at any point before the marriage, she cannot call it off, because she can, no matter what, no matter how much money spent, no matter how much we like him..no matter what. now is the time.
also, my older daughter called off her first engagement and later went on a mission then married somebody else....it all works out for the best.
and it takes alot of courage to do what she did.

Scrappy Girl said...

{{hugs}} to your Natalie...just God's way of setting her on the path for all the exciting things that are supposed to happen in her future.

Sue said...

Oh, that's rough! But I'm glad they had the fortitude to do what their hearts are telling them is right. My sister-in-law called off her marriage after the invitations were already sent out. Very painful, but it was the right decision for both of them.

Hugs to you both at a hard time.

=)

onlymehere said...

I'm sorry about the broken engagement but it's much better to call it off now than later having to divorce. Nicholas' cousin had her wedding called off by her fiance. She was to be married 10 days before Nicholas and it was very hard on her. It was hard on us to as we didn't dare act happy around her bz we knew of her pain. I also went through a broken engagement before I met my husband Larry. This first fiance broke my heart in a million pieces. It took me awhile to trust someone enough to let them into my heart again but it happened. I actually had another young man ask me to marry him too at the same time Larry did. Yeah, true story, believe it or not! I'm glad I chose Larry. I pray that God may comfort your daughter and give her peace in this very difficult circumstance.

Kado! said...

ohh....I'm sorry she is so sad and having a lot to deal with emotionally....but to add to her quote: even when you do find the perfect fit...some days are still better than others....husbands can be just like the perfect pair of jeans...once in a while you'll have to lay on your bed and suck it all in to get them zipped up....and some days you don't!....but you still love them...and they Always make your butt look Good...LOL! ;)

Were Just Tutu Cute and The Haywood Family said...

I love Natty no matter what happens between the both of them. She was a friend first and that is all that matters. Tell Natty how much I love her and will trully miss her when she isnt around. Things will get better day by day.

Mikki said...

aw! Hugs Lisa. Hope they're on the path to mended hearts real soon. Love can be so confusing.
I love that pic. I think it's fabulous. I'm glad the photographer caught that precious exchange between you and your sweet daughter!

Cynthia said...

I'm sorry for the pain you all are going through but, like everyone else, glad they figured it out BEFORE the wedding. Sadly, my hubs went through with a wedding he wasn't sure of and they, predictably, ended up divorced. Lots more pain in that.

Still, it doesn't matter if it's easier/harder now than later- it's hard NOW and that matters. Hard is hard. I'm so not ready for the relationships phase of my kids lives- I hope I still have a lot more time before I have to deal with that heartache.

imbeingheldhostage said...

I AM sorry. First the mono and then this :-( Maybe she needs a trip to the UK...

imbeingheldhostage said...

OR... maybe YOU need a trip to the UK?

Karen Sue said...

Lisa Lou-
I tagged you
can you come and see why??

Karen
http://justtwiddlin.blogspot.com/2009/08/ive-been-tagged.html

Nana said...

Hope everything is going o.k. Man I tuned in at a bad time.
I have to say if it isn't right it isn't right and if in her gut she knows it isn't then run run run for the hills.

I didn't when I knew it wasn't right and have a divorce under my belt to prove it. NOT GOOD!!!!!!

That seems like another life, but to this day there are still lingering effects of that place in time. Yuck I feel for them both.

Nana said...

And you too!!!!!

Carla said...

Blessings to your little girl. Roll with it baby, God knows what He is doing. (or so I hear;)
I WANT TO BE YOUR FACEBOOK FRIEND!! (and not just because you are doing a super great give-away:)