TWENTY

For those of you who loathe the silly, sentimental, parental prattle and the unprovoked sharing of photos only a mother cares about birthday post -----flee now.


I just can’t help myself. It’s not like I will do this every year. I just want to do it once for each child, to put in my journal. Really.

Twenty years ago I was yelling at my husband to, “LOOK AT ME, NOT THE D#$% MONITOR!!! I AM THE ONE IN LABOR YOU IDIOT!!” I will spare you all the rest of that conversation. After 10 hours of labor and screaming at the nurse who was holding the baby in because the doctor didn’t have his scrubs on yet----I got this prize----

I just want to reach right in that picture and nibble on those cheeks and squish that perfect little person! She was my “squishy”, snuggly; I only want my mamma baby.

Nat has been a performer since day one. At 5 months she started throwing her head back and howling—just like a wolf—a little, hoarse, baby wolf—but it made everyone laugh---and she was hooked.

This fashion statement happened the night her Dad took her and some friends to see "Signs". I didn't ever see it but apparently it is relevant.... but I think she looks like Zena, Warrior princess with a hangover.
As a Mother, I can't help but feel a sense of pride as I notice that MY child is the only one who fit the WHOLE cookie in her mouth.........








I’ll never understand how this child......



































who we had to fight daily just to keep her clothes on and….
to make her keep her pull ups on the right part of her body………

















grew up to be the most modest, all parts of my body must be covered, young woman that she is today!!
















Natty, you take my breath away. …….

With your beauty.....

Your courage........


























And your strength.

This is Nat 4 wheeling to the Hole in the Rock,inUtah when she was just 13.

I love you for your adherence to what you know to be true. For your shiny, happy soul and for so many other things but most of all….

Because you love me!!

How I got so lucky as to share her journey for the last 20 years---I’ll never know.

Happy Birthday Natty Gann!

Flashback Friday

Pedaling did this today and I decided I wanted to do it too. This is something I can handle—I have a million of these!

1970

These are things I may or may not have said when I have looked at this photo:

1. Mom, I’m really hoping the reason that I am smiling is because you didn’t allow mirrors in our home.

2. What magic pixie dust were we as a planet inhaling to accept this sparkly, winged eyebrow look as FASHION??!! Yes folks--someone INHALED!!

3. Does this qualify as child abuse?

4. The kid is missing some teeth and her Mother dresses her funny----like the glasses matter.

5. There should be greater regulation in the eye wear industry.

6. Just because someone is sight challenged doesn’t give the fashion industry the right to mock them.

8. No wonder everybody always made fun of the kid with glasses!!

9. These look like they should have their own theme music.

10. No eyebrows—no worries!! Just—no worries in general, I’m thinking...

No wonder I am the way I am......

A Good Thing...

Once again I have let my blog go in favor of keeping up with the realities of life. What is up with that??!! I am a little afraid to publish this but…..

...I have never watched a reality show. AAAKK!!

My real life is stressful enough…watching someone else deal with theirs puts me over the edge. My mindless entertainment tastes run along the lines of Bones, Burn Notice, Psych, Monk and Chuck to name a few. (The cotton candy of the NON reality entertainment genre) Please—no hate mail, I try and redeem myself with voracious reading and a lot of Bach, Mozart and ZZ Top.


As fascinating as my inability to fit into “normal” is, I really wanted this post to be about our trip to Spokane, WA. It was WONDERFUL!! We were able to take 2 cars and take my parents with us, stay in a motel with a pool (that is HUGE in our family) and make it to the temple ON TIME Saturday morning. (Also HUGE in our family—actually—just me—I may or may not, struggle with being on time) It was a beautiful ceremony and it is hard to put into words, but it just FEELS like our family is now complete. That such a brief moment of time can affect all of our eternity—simply amazing. We were home again, in our own beds by Saturday night, so it was a quick trip. Here are a few photos. I am just starting my photoshop journey--be kind.

Spokane Temple March 14, 2009

Together Forever

Tomorrow we leave for Spokane, Washington. We are going to the LDS Temple there. We are going to have the incredible experience of having Angel sealed to our family for, what we believe to be, eternity. This is the Spokane Temple....

I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I have a testimony that this church and its gospel teachings speak truth to my soul and that there is a God and He has a Son who is Jesus Christ. I believe the temple is a sacred place, where I can go and make promises to my Heavenly Father. Where I can find answers to my questions and relief from my fears.


I also count among my dearest friends—many who are not LDS—and I would not change that, or their life choices, for the world. I love and respect their beliefs, as they do mine. I think I would find myself feeling very claustrophobic if I could only have friends who were LDS –I LOVE seeing life from all sorts of perspectives. Not to mention my entire family tree would evaporate—we are the only Mormons! I don’t know what I would do if I had to live without my extended family—they add so much to my life. They are and were strong, vibrant, intelligent people—I am proud of where I come from!


This is our Angel Bean---




She came to live with us in 2002 (at the age of 3) and we were able to legally adopt her in 2003. She was born in Alaska. In 2001 my brother and his then-wife lost their parental rights and we were the State’s first preference placement. I wish I could say that I jumped at the chance, but due to being estranged from my brother and my Mom—it was a difficult time and decision. I am so grateful that we did—I can’t imagine our lives without her. We will tell her one day of her birth parents. She has a half sister from her birth Mom’s first boyfriend and my brother has remarried and had another child—another half sister. We have her keep in touch with both girls—and her native heritage. She is my ray of sunshine, my special gift. Now we are taking the step to make her a part of our eternal family. We believe that will happen when we are sealed to her on Saturday morning. It is a simple ceremony—that our whole family will attend. I am so excited!

Us--2007

I just thought I would share a little of who I am and my family. Some people notice that Bean looks a little different than the rest of my kids and others tell me she looks just like me. One family thought that Phil had had an affair up in Alaska at work and Bean was their love child! They thought I was such a saint for adopting her and forgiving Phil. (so funny—on so many levels!)




Sooo---on that note--hope all will be well with all of you---I will be back next week!

Channeling the Bird Lady from Mary Poppins

This is a woodsy post. If you have an aversion to such nonsense—leave now.

I have become a bird watcher.

I used to mock bird watchers.

I swear my mocking never, EVER, fails to come back and bite me in the butt.

But in my defense—I do not own a wool blazer or participate in any annual bird round up thingie.

I am strictly a watcher.

Wow-that doesn’t sound the least bit creepy.

Anyhoo—I have discovered that bird watching soothes my soul. I can’t claim any Mother Nature/Cinderella type moments but it is great therapy. But if you’ve ever tried to bird watch—you know that you have to be still—and I do not spend nearly enough time being still. Somehow, when I am still enough to watch this--

---I am still enough to sort through all the noise in my head and find the One voice I am always “saying” I want to hear. I had almost forgotten what it is like to just “be”.




Now granted—my children are all old enough to be left unattended without fear of any bloodshed or make up on my bedspread or crayons pictures on the wall—for a little while anyways. So a few years back –this wouldn’t have even been an option—(to be still, alone in my room-all at the same time)I get that. But in THIS season of my life---it has been a wonderful.



We collect pine cones and smear them with peanut butter and roll them in birdseed and some chopped up fruit and then hang them from wires outside my bedroom window. We also smear peanut butter and birdseed on a pine tree a few yards from the house for some of the bigger birds that can’t quite figure out how to land on the pine cones. (giggle)


So I am sitting there, in the cold, patiently waiting for the birds to pose for me--- (yes dear, I know that Crocs are EXTREMELY unfashionable and plaid nightgowns in the middle of the day are so OUT—but—oh yeah-don’t care)


--and for awhile the birds do some of their best moves for the camera—then—nothing—no birds, no chirping, no nothing. Then this comes into my viewfinder—

Hmmmmm—do you suppose there’s a connection???!

And just for you cat lovers—this is their favorite place during the day—sadly they are not much brighter than the birds when it comes to realizing there is a window there.

Glad I got that post out of my system.

What were the Captain and Tennille thinking??!!

Like I said, I am behind on my posts. I had wanted to post this on Valentine’s Day, when my friend sent me this email.

One of these semi unattractive critters decided to come up from the irrigation canal by my friend's house—and stalk her home one day. If you knew this friend--that sentence alone would make you giggle. She doesn't even let dust bunnies do that.

At one point they had it trapped in a window well. Folks, meet that muskrat.

WHAT WERE THE CAPTAIN & TENILLE THINKING WHEN THEY WROTE THAT SILLY SONG????!

For those of you too young or with too much good taste—they wrote a song back in the 70’s (I think) called—“Muskrat Love”. It was a love song--- of all things. Just wanted to share—call it my Wednesday WHAT WERE THEY THINKING post.

Turtle Poop---Manna to the Immortals

I am so very behind in my posts. Once again I find myself reacting instead of acting upon life’s circumstances. Have any of you seen the new LDS movie called, “Only a Stone cutter—The Story of John Rowe Moyle”? It is only 15 minutes long, incredibly uplifting, and the cinematography is AMAZING! (And he happens to be my sister-in-law’s great-grandfather—way cool) The first line of the movie says, “This world consists of two types of people, those who are acted upon and those who act.” That is my new life theme. I want to be a person who acts. (Not the stage kind—although that is fun) My first step that I am working on is to stop seeking so many mindless activities. I find myself all too often thinking that I am so stressed etc—so I am going to do something mindless to unwind. I think that people who “act” have more ability to stay mentally in the moment---what do you think? If this was your goal—what would be your first step? I need all the help I can get!

This post is almost exactly a month late. A month ago it was my birthday, my family was out of town and my Dad had just been put back in the hospital. I was sitting in my room—playing on the computer and watching an episode of Burn Notice, when I got a phone call. The person just said, “Pay no attention to the noise in your living room”. WHA??!! It turned out to be my friend Matilda (I’m not sure if she wants me to write her real name on my blog) and she was trying to set up a birthday surprise for me. Sadly, my front door was locked, so I had to go unlock it and then hurry back to my room—kinda took a little bit of the surprise out of it. Lots of other funny stuff happened but to make a long story short—she set up a lovely little celebration that the two of us enjoyed immensely and brought me flowers and lots of presents!

One of the best ones being this:

Apparently everyone but me knows this is what you clean your stainless steel pots with. Thankfully Matilda was kind enough to share this info and when I couldn’t find it at the store---gave me some for my birthday! If any of you out there have any other good domestic tips—please be advised that I am domestically clueless and any wisdom you would choose to impart will be gladly accepted!! Just always assume I don’t know –and go from there.

BUT THE BEST THING SHE GAVE ME FOR MY BIRTHDAY---WAS AN INTRODUCTION TO THESE MORSELS OF ABSOLUTE UNADULTERATED JOY---

AND THEY CALL THEM---TURTLE POOP!!!!!!!!

I think I ate an entire plate of them that night and the rest of the pan the next morning for breakfast. Then I went right out and bought the ingredients and made some more. I may or may not have lived entirely on turtle poop for the rest of the time my family was gone.
You take one of those square, buttery pretzels, top it with a Rolo candy—pop it in the oven at 350 degrees for 5 minutes and then gently push a pecan half on top till it smooshes the Rolo out a bit. Then—if you desire to consume IMMEDIATELY—put in the freezer for a few minutes. I probably need a turtle poop intervention. Maybe tomorrow.

So, thank you Matilda—it was a fabulous celebration!! You are one of the most thoughtful people I know—so kind and have been such strength during this new phase of my life. I am truly blessed to have a friend like you. And the turtle poop thing—I owe you—big time—anything—seriously.

Sadly, Regrettably, Distressingly, SERIOUSLY??????!!!!!!!

You may or may not remember Jasper from a previous post. (see here) He had a lot of attitude and a little brain. One time, my husband went outside with him on his shoulder and he flew off and we thought for sure he was gone and dead. Turns out he just circled the house a couple times and landed on our forest floor. Mind you, not in a tree or on top of anything (little brain) but on the ground. And there was where we found him after a stressful hunt. We finally found him when he started saying, "Jasper gonna die". Just kidding. But....we did find him alive.

Sadly, regrettably, distressingly, that is NOT how we found him on Thursday afternoon. SERIOUSLY??!! This is when the creator of the universe thought was a good time for the bird to die??!! SERIOUSLY??!! Right when our family is coming to grips with the impending death of my father???!! SERIOUSLY???!!! And of course the hubby is not home. After recovering from the "depths of despair" and calming the kiddo's, (he lives in Bean's room and she thought he was just sleeping) I did what any other competent, mentally with it Mom would do. I pried him off the bottom of the cage (yeah--that didn't completely scar me, having to pry his little talons off the bars), wrapped him in a couple of washcloths, put him in a box and popped him in the outside freezer for my husband to deal with when he gets home. I realized the error of my ways when I opened that freezer later to get some ice cream and discovered, to my horror (and yes, a small amount of crazed laughing) that I had placed him in and old Schwann's box, labeled-----are you ready for this???-----

CHICKEN CORDON BLEU

Yep, I am that good.

Needless to say, I have moved everything I think I will need between now and the time my hubby gets home, to the other freezer. I don’t trust myself. I can’t even go by that freezer at night now---the curse of way too many scary movies.

Daddy update

This is still a little tender for me. First of all—I know that there are people EVERYWHERE dealing with the death or impending death of a loved one every minute of every day. Life cycles—everyone knows it—and time stops for no man. I know that it is no respecter of age or economic status. I know that very few people are ever prepared for it—even if there are warning signs. I wonder if it is because we get so caught up in our invincibility's, so forgetful of all that it takes for our body to take just one breath. Maybe it is because there was never anything my Daddy couldn’t do. I was 5 years old in this picture. My Daddy was a super hero. At the ripe old age of 5, I KNEW that I was special….because my Daddy told me so. In my mind’s eye—he has never aged much beyond this memory. When did he become old enough to have right heart failure, to need oxygen 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and need a walker to get around??!! When did he get old enough to have to leave me here on earth, without his physical presence to guide me, and remind me that I am still special?! I do find peace in my beliefs--that this will be a brief parting, that we will spend eternity together, it is just the ache of missing that I think will be hard. The saying good-bye.
Because of the right heart failure, his lungs are not getting enough blood and that causes a fluid buildup. His legs and abdomen are already much enlarged and as it progresses it will continue to build up till it shuts down all his organs and causes death. There is no treatment but they think he will be able to slow it a little with diet and proper rest and lots of visits from grandchildren. :0)
Today was better than yesterday, emotionally, and I am sure tomorrow will be even a little better than today. I am the older of just 2 children and so there is much to do; finances, wills, final plans, scrapbooks etc…it will be good to keep busy and to “need” to spend all this time with him. I am not asking for prayers or thoughts for miracles—just for strength and courage for all of us. It is so healing to go around and read all your blogs and get caught up in the witty banter and do lots of gut laughing. Isn’t blog land great??!!

THARDY THANX!!!!!!

I know I have been remiss in sharing my mailbox happiness and stating my gratefulness publicly. Things have been really crazy with my Dad and I have been so overwhelmed by it all that I just let everything else go. It is still a little too tender to write about—maybe tomorrow.
Today—a HUGE !!!!!!THANK YOU!!!!!!!!! To Desert Hen and Linda for their HUGE generosity and kindness. I won in their drawings and was sooooo excited!


Here is what arrived from Desert Hen:

Look at how beautifully it was all packaged—it was so bright and cheerful I had a hard time wanting to open them! Yeah—that didn’t last long.



This is it all unwrapped. Oh the divineness of it all!! Thank you so much Desert Hen!!! I heart you!!!!

And here is the sweetness I received from Linda!

I stole this pic off her blog cuz if I waited till I got a picture and uploaded it—well I just couldn’t be ungrateful any longer. This is my first “word art” I have owned—I am soooo excited—thank you so much Linda!

This whole winning and getting mail is very addicting---more please!!! Just kidding—sort of. Thanx again girls—I need to have another giveaway—will have to think on it-------

536---SERIOUSLY!!???

Wow.


Really—WOW!


I am away from blog land for a little while and when I open Google Reader—SHAZAAM—536 posts!! You all have been getting your BUSY on! It is kind of an overwhelming number—even if it is only a minute a blog—that is 9 hours—9??!!!! HOLY HOPE YOU DON”T READ SLOW Batman!


Not only that—but I seem to have lost a follower and only one person noticed I was gone. It’s a good thing I don’t base my entire self worth on my blog. I’d say, “Don’t mind me”—but apparently you already haven't! I’m just so much blog dust blowing in the wind-------


-----hopefully I will blow into your nose and make you sneeze and cough and your eyes water. But—I’m not bitter. Really.

Happy Sheepish Birthday To Me.....

I'm a b-a-a-a-a-d Mom. I should have known that teasing my #2 daughter about things eternal could only lead to feeling sheepish. (see #6 previous post)

I opened my blog this morning and sure enough---there it was---on HER blog--A Tribute to my Mom

Happy Sheepish Birthday to me....sheesh... I am lucky she loves me in spite of me.

Go give it a look see--she done her mama proud.

Oh--and as UNBELIEVABLE as it seems---I won another giveaway!! Over at LindanJake

She is the sweetest thing since Dove Chocolates with Caramel inside!! Thanx Linda!

Somebody buy me a lottery ticket--I am on a roll!

My Dad is still in the hospital--today was the first day I haven't gone in--there was so much I wanted to accomplish while my family was gone--so I focused on those today. I feel a little selfish and guilty but my Dad said it was okay--have I mentioned that I LOVE my Dad??!! They did a scope type surgery into his lungs today so hopefully we will be getting some real answers soon. They said all the test results should be back by tomorrow evening. The top part of his right lung has completely shut down so we are grateful they have gotten a little more aggressive. Thanx for all your thoughts and prayers----------

Randomness from the hospital

My Dad is back in the hospital--he has been having blackouts that they can't explain and his pneumonia is lingering. It stresses my Mom to have him here but I always breathe a little easier knowing he is in capable hands. Since I am not real focused and need to distract myself a little...I thought I would just share some randomness--

1. My family left yesterday for Utah--all of them--so it is just me and the critters---wild and tame--I consider this my birthday/anniversary/Valentines Day present--since they all occur in February. I LOVE my family but there is no better vacation in my mind than getting to stay HOME ALONE! I realize that there are people out there that consider a vacation as something that they leave their house to do--I cannot help their faulty thinking.

2. We got an Apple computer for Christmas that I can't get on to do any more than set up my account. With everyone gone--I AM GOING TO PLAY WITH MY APPLE! I might actually be able to see what is on the screen with its SUPER SIZED screen. I am especially excited to see Mechelle's hair blog super sized!

3.I have gone to a psychiatrist before and let me tell you--all the medication and therapy in the world can't do what cleaning a room---leaving the room---coming back into the room a half hour later and having it STILL BE CLEAN--can do!  Wait--let me go back--ITS STILL CLEAN!!!  Happy dance all over that clean floor!

4. I LOVE this woman--Nana--roll on the floor and out the door and down the hill into traffic funny!!!  Seriously!!

5. I seem to have been temporarily word stupid on this post-----"wha-la"?????? Seriously??! I can't believe how kind you all are for not mocking me. Voila--voila--voila---

6. The other day, my #2 daughter informed me that, "There is no sarcasm in heaven" I told her that was why she needed to be really good---so that she could bring me iced drinks in that hot place--for eternity. She is still getting her panties untwisted.

7. I am now home schooling 2 of my 3 children that are still living at home. We just pulled Kelly out of the high school. I am only partly sorry if someone reads this that works there--but that school is a nightmare!! And after doing battle for 6 years--I am done. This time it was because they were supposed to give Kelly an IEP because of her hip injury and surgery but it never happened and Kelly was floundering and he said, she said and ENOUGH!  She will get her GED, take her SAT'S and go to college--she is so happy to be at home.

8. Yesterday I woke up and when I went to sit on the toilet--my left "cheek" area screamed in pain! I mentioned it to my husband and he proceeds to say, "Yeah--that's probably going to hurt for awhile." WHAT??! According to him I lost my balance getting up out of my computer chair (when I bumped into him) and fell back on the hard part of the chair. Okay folks--I have tried and TRIED to bring this memory up--to no avail so--A) my husband is lying , B) I am getting Alzheimer's or C) Someone slipped me an Ambien before bedtime. That whole part of their advertisement that says "driving etc with no memory for the event can happen"--its true. Don't ask me how I know. Which still leaves the question---why does my tailbone hurt so bad every time I sit down??!!  It is KILLING me!

9. I won DesertHen's contest!! I NEVER WIN!!! Now I can't ever say that again--hmmm BUT YEAH ME!!! HAPPY! HAPPY!  ME!!

So--there you go---food for thought--junk food--but food nonetheless. I have a post I need to do about channeling the bird lady and then..................I thought I would finally get brave and share the story behind my blog title---------

Oh yeah--and please keep my Dad in your prayers or meditations or thoughts--we could use them.

Bibbidi Bobbidi Birthday Boo!

Once upon a time, in a land called Louisiana, in the year nineteen hundred and ninety-three, a beautiful princess was born, and the first thing her father was heard to say was, "My, what a LARGE mouth she has dear!" And then, they named her Kelly Ann but called her Boo.

And the child grew and she took her first step and..............

................................. had her first cake.

And when she was happy...the world was full of sunshine and cuteness and when she was cross.........

...............her subjects would run and hide in terror!!!!!!!!

And the child grew..................

And grew........................................................................

And grew............................................

Until it was February the first of the year two thousand and nine--and behold--turned herself 16 and her Mother was heard to declare...."she will not grow another year older---ever" and thus it was.

Oh my Kelly Belly Boo--I cannot believe you are 16. You are so extraordinary, so beautiful, inside and out. You are the child who most thinks like me and shares my love of books and music. I have cherished this time we have had and look forward to all the future memories we will make and share. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOO!!!!