Wherein I boost your “Mother’s Day/Human Being” self esteem to infinity and beyond…..

This is a re-post from last year. I thought this was a particularly fine piece of journalism {{{snort}}} so thought I would post it real quick before Mothers Day was over. Hope all the women who pass by this blog have had themselves a great day!

Mothers Day.

I’m sure that the original intent of those who created this holiday were pure.

Forcing children everywhere to honor their mother or carry the guilt forever—that is pure is it not?

Obviously, my Mother and I are still working out our relationship but I have been blessed to have 5 children call me Mom (to be honest—some days they say it like MU-THERRR) and I have friends who are from both camps. Some love being a Mom, or celebrate their own Mom or look forward with joy to when they will become a Mom. Others DREAD the day. Some because of their not so flowers and a nice card relationship with their Mom or the struggle to believe they will ever have a chance to be a Mother or they feel they have failed miserably at being a Mother .

I will leave the psychosis of all this to more qualified folks. The intent of my blog today is to boost your “Mothering/human being” self worth through the utter lack of my “Mothering/human being” skillz--- with the visual records I have kept. I’m sure I should probably address the -- what kind of Mother does or allows these “things” to happen to her children and then takes photos and shares them on her blog question that will plague you as you scroll through these photos.

But……….I got nothin’.

Just remember that no matter which government agency you call to report me too—they will never find me here in my garage, in the woods, in the middle of nowhere Montana.

Exhibit A:

By all means perch the baby on the top of that fence overlooking that giant ravine. I know she was dying for that up close and personal view. Quick, let me record the moment with my camera.

Exhibit B:

Too be fair—this was taken by my husband. I didn’t know about it till I went and picked up the pictures from our vacation. Bad mother award for thinking I could allow her father to watch her without my supervision.

Exhibit C:

This is what happens when your Mother has to say “Stop fighting!” 562 times. {Why yes, those are teenage mutant ninja turtles on the ends of those horns, thank you for asking.}

Exhibit D:

I force teach my children to work hard. I have found that it works best to have them out into the workforce while they are still in diapers. Then they just don’t ever remember it being any different.

Exhibit E:

My girls inform me that putting them in these beautiful, ruffle-lace explosion get ups was pretty much a crime against all mother nature. Wha? Just wait till they become Mothers and experience the “thrill of the frill”. It’s hypnotic I tell you! Also, I would like to point out that silver tooth jutting out there in front. Example #298 of my attentive parenting.

Exhibit F:

Ah, the classic—always dress your child in Halloween costumes that they hate- and don’t forget to capture the “I hate you” on camera. All the good mother points you may have earned for making the costume, go right out the window. Good memories.

Exhibit G:

This is an example of what I like to refer to as….Courageous Mothering. [I’m not the least bit interested in what you think it is.] In case you can’t see them, this child has the chicken pox. Then the poor dear fell off a swing and broke her little arm. I felt so bad for her that I went out and bought her some roller blades. And because I am that safety aware, I threw in the helmet and pads too. Safety first. Always.

And it wouldn’t be a Mothers Day tribute without….

Exhibit H:

This could be entitled, “Redneck Playground”. What I wanted to point out though, was my stellar abilities of caring not only for my children, but my friends also. Only one of these hooligans is mine, and I’m pretty sure she couldn’t have come up with this little rodeo all by herself. These other hooligans belong to my friend who has 13 children. (Late breaking editorial--imagine my friend's surprise when she saw that she had 13 children and could only find 11--thankfully she isn't going to sue for libel) She is the “chillest” Mom I know. That's why I can post this—she will just laugh. Like I did. And then of course I made them come in and stop all this nonsense. Because I’m all about safety. Always.

Please feel free to share this with your friends and unknown neighbors. Everyone deserves to realize just how great a mother/parent they are! And don’t forget—it’s all about safety…….always.